Saturday, October 23, 2004
Don't play 5-10 on the dance floor...

At Attica (the one at Clarke Quay), if you play 5-10 on the dance floor, you might get told to leave. Especially if their precious 'ang mo' clients don't get to play. They even try to cut costs on the bouncer, by getting their boss to do the 'dirty' work. Just ask Mikey (if that's his real name). Am I right? Mikey? Ain't it sad that we are a free country populated by some idiots with a colonised brain? First you read about it in Lifestyle about this local hotel that makes local men put on baggy long pants while allowing 'ang mo's to dine in shorts and now this... I've only got one thing to say... we have a loooong way to go before we are finally free.

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 10/23/2004 10:24:00 am 0 Comment(s)

Attention Citizens! No Playing in the MRT Station!

Ah! Let's promote creativity. Let's encourage people to think and create rather than to follow. Let's tell them not to play in the MRT Station.

When you have no choice but to use a certain profit driven monopolistic service, like our Mass Rapid Transit System, you have to live with their brand of customer service.

"Want to use the serivice? Follow the instructions flashed on our hi-tech large screens and we'll allow you to use it. Yes, we'll still make lotsa money from you."

"So, dear users of our profitable service. If you want to play in our stations, please take a bus instead. Oops, did we forget to mention that we just cancelled your direct bus service so that you will HAVE to take the train?"

"Of course, you can choose to walk. Yeah, that will deprive us of some revenue... yeah."

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 10/23/2004 09:57:00 am 0 Comment(s)

Saturday, October 16, 2004
I got breathalysed... my virgin breathalysation!

I got breathalysed just now... it was pretty fun... well, fun 'cos I passed the thing. Here's the transcript... or at least how I remembered it:

Cop1: 'scuse me sir, did you drink? Me: yes. Cop 1: When, what and how many did you drink? Me: An hour ago, gin tonic and just one. Cop1: Sir, it's our SOP to give you a further check since you've had a drink. Me: Ok. *grin* Cop2: Sir, I'd need you to take a simple test. Have you got asthma? Me: Yes. Cop2: *stutter* do you have your medication with you? Me: No. Cop2: Ur... ah... I need you to blow into this tube for 5 secs. Are you able to blow for 5 secs without getting the asthma? Me: Sure. Cop2 causiously passes me the device and I blew in it. Cop2: Ok, a little bit longer... wait, blow somemore... *me turning green* wait... ok... sir, you've passed the test. please wait awhile while I log this check.

I waited, got my IC and liscence and left...

===

Here's how you can get the cops to breathalyse you at a road block; tell them you have had ONE drink. Their SOP would be to give you a test.

Here's why you should get yourself breathalysed; since they've wasted your time stopping you, the least you could do for them is to waste their time... and their stupid straw too.

Unless you know you can't make it... then lie like you've never done before right from the beginning and hope for the best that they do not call your bluff.

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 10/16/2004 03:48:00 am 0 Comment(s)

Thursday, October 14, 2004
What do you do at work?

Is working all about team work in problem solving? Getting the job done properly the first time round ensuring customer satisfaction? Or is it all about team work in poking other's asses while covering your own? My former boss (the one who was transferred out of my department) seems to have the ass poking constipated point of view towards working life. "If you you do not keep me in the loop, how am I supposed to cover you?" was his famous buzz word. Man, I always feel bad for him thinking how stupid he must feel when he reads his mail and realised that he WAS in the loop. It's not that it is easy to locate him anyway, unless of course, I know where he's skiving. "We need more ammo to whack this guy in the other department." Another famous line. How are you going to find time to work if all of it is spent on trying to keep a perpetually absent person in the loop, especially when he is more interested in setting his sights on another ass? Good news is, I do not need to swallow all these antics any longer... or need I? Now that he is no longer in the same department, I become the guy in the other department. This means, my ass is now in his sight. All the covert ass piercing emails he used to send to the bosses' of my inter departmental colleagues are now currently being sent to my boss. I am beginning to wonder which is worse? Being his personal ass, or the ass he tries to target by remote control. I guess its between the devil and the deep blue sea.

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 10/14/2004 02:23:00 am 0 Comment(s)