Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Gay men earn 10,000 UK pounds more than national average - I believe I know why.

Special thanks to WS for pointing me to this article. I believe this has confirmed that all my male friends who make more money than me are likely gay. My apologies to all straight men out here but I have reasons to believe that gay men make more money because they are more intelligent than straight men. Here's why. Research on mammals... ok, bats have shown that testicle size and brain size have an inverse relationship. The larger your balls, the smaller your brains. Here's how the theory goes... large balls produce more sperm. More sperm means higher chance of carrying on the family line. Gay men have no real need for that hence, no real need for sperm either. Their sperm probably has the same effect as warm yoghurt. This means that their balls are essentially useless. This also means that they are likely to develop smaller balls (if any), leaving the body more resources to grow a larger brain. To all the gay men out there, "You can have your brain, I'll keep my balls."

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 1/25/2006 02:01:00 pm 0 Comment(s)

Monday, January 23, 2006
Revenge 'more satisfying for men' - So beware of women!

An article in the BBC website reports that studies have shown that "Men appear to get greater satisfaction than women when witnessing retribution". The fact that men get more satisfaction out of witnessing retribution means that women are less satisfied while witnessing the same degree of retribution. What this study suggests thus, is that it requires retribution of a more severe nature before women can register a sense of satisfaction. I guess this truly justifies that women are indeed the deadlier gender of the species. People, please keep this in mind if you're intending to get in the way of a women.

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 1/23/2006 12:11:00 pm 0 Comment(s)

Friday, January 20, 2006
Want humour? Read the news.

It never fails to amaze me how infomation can be interpreted to suit one's favour, and the ability of the US vice-president to successfully contradict himself... here are a few, and all in a single article in today's news. 1) Turn an ultimatum into a plea for truce. In the headlines, US rejected a truce offer from Osama B. Laden himself. OBL offered a "long-term truce" if Washington withdrew its military presence from Iraq and Afghanistan - as the press put it. Does this look like a truce offer to you? It sure doesn't look like one to me. Sounds more like an ultimatum. "Quit Iraq and Afghanistan or more Americans DIE". 2) Interpret the preference to use audio over video as being weakened. Also in the same article, Dick "Heart bypass" Cheney said the (audio) message showed that the terrorist network had been driven "underground" and was now unable to produce video messages. After the scrutiny on his previous video release, do you thing OBL is stupid enough to make another one that might tell you where he is? Besides, how difficult could it be to produce a video? If you lose the capacity to produce a video message, there is no way you can still have the capacity to produce an audio one. They operate in the same way, just press record and talk. No recorder? Well, there's nothing you can't buy from eBay ya? 3) Doubts the authenticity of the audio clip, saying that it could be cut-and-pasted from old clips. ...and Cheney said another question was whether it (the audio message) had been "pieced together" from past statements. Hmm... OBL does not have the capability of video production, but certainly has the capability to edit a full message out of old clips! At which point did the walking heart bypass stopped using his brains?

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 1/20/2006 09:28:00 am 0 Comment(s)

Monday, January 16, 2006
Singapore working out united response if terror strikes: PM Lee

On the 16th of January 2006, Channel News Asia reported the above. Honestly, this has gotten me a little worried. After all, it is already almost 6 years after terrorists striked New York city, 3 years after the first Bali bombing, 6 months after the London attacks and 2 months after the second Bali bombing. 6 years after terror struck New York city and we are just working out a united response? 2 bombings just 3 hours away by air and we still do not have a united response plan? Honestly, how prepared are we and what took us so long? There was a mock terrorist attack on Serangoon Garden yesterday. Roads were closed from 10am to 12pm to prepare for the attack. The police actually started to cordon off the area from 12am! A stage was erected for VIP to watch the attack occur! Ur, so much for realism, I guess. Nobody is going to tell you where and when terror will strike. Terrorists will not tell you 10 hours in advance to prepare for them. So is this spectacle really going to prepare us for an incident? I don't know, but I certainly hope so.

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 1/16/2006 12:21:00 pm 0 Comment(s)

Saturday, January 14, 2006
Melvin the pianist... was he really a NS defaulter?

This guy left Singapore when he was barely 16 years old. Spent almost 30 years in Europe, and returned an accomplished musician in his mid 40s. We brand him as an NS defaulter, and slapped him with a S$3000 fine. Personally, I don't think he was guilty of defaulting NS. The NS bill was passed to ensure that every able bodied men in the country is able to fight for the country when the need arises. This is to ensure that we are able to defend a place we call home. This is the least we can do for out country. After all, it is Singapore that provide us with a comfortable place where we can make a living and bring up out children. We owe it to Singapore and hence, are obligated to be trained in the defence of this country. Back to the case of Melvin. He spent 16 years here. He parents are law abiding tax payers in Singapore. They paid a $20k bond for young Melvin to study in the UK. This was forfieted. $20K for 16 years... good enough, I'd say. Because for the next 30 odd years of his life, Singapore did not provide for him. He, through hardwork and perseverence, made a name for himself! Now, he has more to give to the country than to receive. What's wrong with that?! If he came back with nothing, I'd say throw this bugger in jail! Nah! Better to put the 45year old bugger through NS, have a 19year old kid scream at him everyday... it's more entertaining that way. Who knows? Maybe a reality TV show on his NS development? Double standards? Not really. It is the same way we treat potential immigrants. You can contribute, you're welcomed here anytime. If you're coming in to leech on us, well , FUCK OFF! We can do without you.

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 1/14/2006 11:54:00 am 0 Comment(s)

Friday, January 13, 2006
Why do whales beach themselves?

I think I've found the answer for that in the news the last few days. Mass beaching of whales are an annual phenomenon that has baffled scientists over the years. Some blame it on the ultra-low frequency sonar used by the US Marines, some blame it on climate change. I believe I've found the answer. You see, whales are sentient beings who are self aware. That means that they could be like us and that there is a probability that they do believe in the concept of God. The concept of God has historically made humans do crazy things equivalent of whale beaching... Heaven's Gate mass suicide, crazy Japs gassing themselves in cars the annual stampede in Mecca etc... they all believe in one thing. That it will bring them to a happy place. This means that whales could have beached themselves with a belief that this will send them to Whale Heaven.

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 1/13/2006 01:40:00 pm 0 Comment(s)

Thursday, January 12, 2006
Our budget terminal has got a new name!

No efforts were spared when it came to the naming of our new terminal for budget air. In fact the naming of the terminal weighed so heavily on CAAS that they decided to let the public be responsible instead... y'know, the "in case name cockup, not my fault" mentality? So, after 40,000 contestants gave their suggestion, they've got a winner! Yes! The new terminal shall be named, Budget Terminal! Wow! It's amazing how the elites in CAAS need 40,000 chaps to arrive at this name! I only have one thing to say lor, "DUH!"

# Crapped by Toadjuice on 1/12/2006 04:54:00 pm 0 Comment(s)